Lolwut

Totally just had a realisation, so I know it was very brief and meant nothing.

But still, the thought of you with her actually sickens me haha.

Like I was thinking about when you told me you learnt something from her and just picturing you and her, I wanted to throw up.

I know totally logically unreasonable but I just want to believe that I'm the only girl you've ever been with.

Anyway. Crazy girlfriend rant over and out.

Little things.

Sometimes, in life, things just go right for you. Your planets a line, or you karma builds up and returns your favor.
Life's little treats are what makes the bigger picture worth it all. Little treats in the forms of friends, lovers, pets, maybe the cup of tea you drink every Thursday at lunch at a certain place. Even something as small as a lady bug landing on your shoulder. Or the new rain falling. Or wearing that new ring you bought.

To me the small things that make me happier involve, rain. It symbolizes a new start, washing away old and emerging with new. And morning due on grass blades is one of the simplest sights that holds so much beauty.
Rain makes me lighter, freer. I feel new when it rains. Like I should have something to let go of. Just forget and start again.

For me a small thing happen that changed me and made my life a lot happier.

For months now I've been cherished by and been cherishing one of my closest friends, together we have gradually made each others lives happier. Getting to know each other has been one of the happiest times I can't remember. I remember when I first met you I didn't think we had that much in common, but something, curiosity?, brought us closer and helped us find who we were together.

Recently we've become so close to each other, that we've come to discuss and hold the same views and beliefs in life. Creating a bond that I feel is strong.
It's our small chats that make me happier.
Our small nothing conversations.
The silly things we do when we are alone, we're we can just be ourselves.
The times you've made me cry then hold me and made me smile.
The stupid faces and voices we pull when we think no ones watching.
How we can just lye, not say anything and be completely comfortable.

For me, now that I can call you my lover, has made me the happiest.

I'm glad it rained that day too. Perfect setting for a new beginning.

Falling.

Hehehe,

So I guess my time paid off.
Everyday we end up spending more and more time together and you keep doing more to make it feel like we are actually a couple......
And did I hear you mention girlfriend, and out of no where you grabbed my hand.

I feel like a giddily little school girl. Hahaha.

So I know that you asked for time and I've given it to you, know I just really hope you don't turn around and go "yeah, no." Cuz I don't think I could handle that right now. I would really just like you to be my boyfriend.

I've fallen for you.

Oh have I fallen. Haha.


Anyway, so I finally quit my job.
Long story short the son went behind his mothers back and tried to fire me through text, then his mother tried to do major damage control to keep me working form them. As I had completely lost all respect I had for him, I just told them no. I couldn't work under him anymore after she showed me what a spineless idiot he was.

So now I have like no monies and I'm really in the shit if I don't find another job soon. The two week pay out might help me but only for a week haha.

In other news, it was my 21st last week-ish (7th) lol. And I had the best time. But to be completely honest I do not remember half the night or speaking to half the people who told me they bought me shots! Shouldn't have done those two absinthe shots at the start of my night. Hahaha.

So it was a great night.

Totally need to stop buying nail polishes I have so many now! Today I got a new order of Bloom nail polishes and last week I got a few China Glaze. They are beautiful! And I have more coming.

I must say the best present I got for my 21st was the nail polish package from Ronda, which included: not only two BlackCatLacquer polishes. But a lot Hello Kitty nail art and a Secha Vite top coat with refills :D


Been a big few weeks, oh and yeah once again I don't know if I will pass uni! Lol

Over and out. Haha.
:3

Now a few photos of my new stuffs
All my new nail polishes.
My new phone cover.
My new curtains.

Happy 2nd birthday Crossover!

Last night marked the night crossover dance turned 2.

Now if you've followed my blog since the start (which I doubt haha) you'd all know that Crossover is so much a part if my life here in Sydney! I have given so much into crossover just as it has given me so much, be I the way of friends, freedom, spirituality, art or work!

So we celebrated in style. Many a drink was had! And a few new additions joined us in making the night special. As the years go crossover continues to grow and feed the art and love!

And when I say style we all know there were many stumblers, drunken ramblings, off key karaoke and bottles of spirits to cover Chinatown! I helped celebrated by sleeping over once again, to commemorate the hobo crew in all it's glory!

The start of my night however started not at crossover but in a little hidden Italian cafe restaurant eating with friends to, also, celebrate a new friends birthday.

So now I write this, with the free time the bus has given me, tired. Dead. After one massive party and a ghh class, at least breakfast was amazing ( Home cafe, Dixon st. EVERYBODY GO!)

And I said thats fine, but your the only one who knows I lied.

I guess recently I've had it too good, I have to go through something much more, than that of which I've been experiencing this year, to hold what i need to.

But i guess all i can do is wait and hope time is on my side.

But late at night when i should be sleeping, i have way too much time on my hands, and in my mind they spin stories and unspoken situations that i wish, oh how i wish, would have come up between us.

I really want to just tell you how much you mean to me and how much i just want to hold you.
just for us to be,

Just us,
Not having to worry about others, Take care of each other from the hurt we've been dealt before.

But all i can offer right now for you is time, I can only respect you and give you time.

though i'd love to ask you just to say you want me, to hold me with the meaning we both know it holds.

But i guess all i can give you is the time you deserve.

Best friends and more,

although my heart sinks a little every time you ask "we're friends? right."

*Insert Title Here*

I just want "Us" instead of "you and me".

Sometimes I actually think.

Sometimes I think I should have stuck with girls.

Beer on the other hand is still kinda gross. I'll drink it anyway.

Totally Jealous.

Hearing that the girl he pined after for so long would date him if he asked. Ouch. Lol.
I don't mind that you hang out. But hearing that kinda hurts.
In my eyes she's the one you chose first you didn't choose me you just gave me a chance so it hurts to hear that your first choice could have been real.
Makes me feel like your settling for something less.
But I kinda really like you, so I don't mind it as much as I feel I should.
Umm. Yeah I guess what I'm saying is I'm kinda really jealous of her. I know I have you and you love me, but doubt is a trickster in my mind so it makes me feel like your settling.
I guess I just want you to tell me everyday that your not. Reassure me. I really could care less that you still hang out. Just reassure me.
That's all.

おはいよう！（＾＿＾）☆

Fitness routine? GO GO GO!!
Should just start b-girling an over take Justin in health haha. No that would be weird. Also maybe don't do my exercise at 1 in the morning when I have work the next day.
I have a good plan in my head of what I'll do everyday.....in my head.
I must actually start so from now on who ever reads this (myself :(...) remind me to not eat bread or chocolate or food past 7pm.
Ok!
Ok you got that Ellyn you have to remind me!! Go go go!
Man jelly can make you do a lot to feel superior. And no I'm not talking the wobbly jelly.

Gah! Why us it so cold!! I'm so glad I got my new jumper which I happen to be living in! Literally. My whole house is in this jumper. And it's not a massive jumper, quite a feat I have accomplished I would say.

EXAMS ARE SOON! EVERYONE FREAK THE FUCK OUT NOW BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!
I really need to start studying everyday. I don't want to fail this year. I really like studying, I've just never been good at exams. Ever.

Gah! Ok rant over so Ellyn, please remind me of the following:
No bread or chocolate (Tim tams sitting in my room doesn't help)
No food after 7
EXERCISE
Live in jumper
べんきょうします!

Rant complete.

General thoughts about you.

I like how you pull me in for hugs when I'm trying to do work. And don't let go even when I try to push you away and act all cool cuz I'm 'working'.
I like our heart beat game when we're holding hands.
I like how sometimes you put to look cute and get your way, even though I should do that not you... And you still get your way.
I like how when you smile your eyes curve up.
And when you walk into a room your so cool. It's like you own the place.
I like how you stay up late with me and put up with my silly nonsense.
And you always pull my face to yours.
I love your eyes. So bright, Srsly they look like honey or something.
I like your abbs, but we all knew that.
I think it's great your open about your sexuality. And really I'm fine with your two boyfriends, hahahahaha!!
I like that you boast about me.
I like that your clingy.
I love your fashion sense.
The amount of alcohol you can consume makes me laugh, and slightly worried that you aren't human lol.
I like that you help me no matter what I'm doing.
And that a lot of your tumblr post are for me.
I like that we play diablo together.
I think I think about you too much.
And you need to study more!!
But so do I.
I love getting ice cream with you.
I'm so lucky you gave me a chance.

I guess I'm just rambling different ways to say that I really really like you.

Me.

I'm happy.


I can say that after so long, that I am finally quite content with where I am right now.
I dont know, you just seem to have this way to make me smile, like even when you aren't around, I just think of you and a smile creeps up on me.
You wouldn't know, I dont tell you, but it happens. A lot.


You make me happy.

My little Pony.

So I guess as all of you can see on Facebook I have released the pictures of my pink that I achieved today at doppleganer hair in Newtown.

I FUCKIN LOVE IT.
at first we weren't sure wether or not the red would lift enough for me to get this pink. But it did and I'm loving lifte right now.

When I walked in I was greeted by this tall built guy with a shaved Mohawk that was bleached blonde. And yes it was only like 3 mm long lol. Then he started talking. He's bloody English, best hairdresser of my life!! Then I found out he plays bass!! Then I found out he loves Japanese punk grunge etc. fuck he was brilliant! An he got my hair pink.

There was a girl who came in at the same time and she also ended up fetter her hair pink on top. Fluro neon pink! So as we were bleaching we all played draw something, complained about how bad some people are and listened to Japanese punk.

Best morning of my life.
Oh! These biscuits they had I don't know what the hell they we're but far out!! Honeycomb and chocolate. Epicness in a biscuit!

So yeah that was my morning. Now I'm headed into the city to chill and find food.

久しぶりね…

みなさん、おはよう。

It's been a very long time since I've blogged. But in finding a iPhone app has finally been released for blogger, you will see that I will blog a hell of a lot more. I spend way too much time on my iPhone and hence now have instagram, twitter and tumblr to keep up with as well as blogger. I've been using tumblr a lot as its easy and I live mostly in pictures, but as everyone knows, you don't write long posts about your sad life on tumblr. No one cares.

What has happened since I last blogged?
I went to Europe.
Enrolled back into uni.
Broke up.
Ate amazing pastries in France.
Danced with my family ijgk'd.
All in all just enjoyed my life.

So now I'm single, dancing, studying and working. Obsessed with draw something and just how bad Whitney is at it.

Recently ijgk'd have had many projects and the newsy one is an audition for a charity concert. They are bringing over some group I have never hear of. I don't think they've debuted yet. But the songs we have chosen are hard and take a lot of energy. In one there is a massive drop which, honestly, I'm still scared to do properly. Lol. Run, the second song, is fun but at the same time fast and hard to get your head around. I really like it. Still needs work though lol.

Ooohh also I have a great opportunity to be in a music video with a few other XO dancers for Kimberly. I'm really thankful she asked me to help! It's gonna be awesome. But that this Sunday at 6am. Darling harbor! Gahhh 6am! Lol.

In other news, I'm dying my hair. Pastel pink. You'll see it Thursday. (^｡^)

Umm I'm sure I've missed heaps. You know considering I haven't blogged since like October last year or something, but you'll hear from me soonish. I guess